By: Angela Echevarria Published: November 6, 2024
Human beings are such interesting creatures. We are social animals and like group cohesion but we are very individual in the way we identify ourselves and all the intersections that make us wholly unique as people. It's a tough balance for anyone to manage but it's infinitely harder when you are just starting out. How do you balance being in a group with your individual wants and needs? How do you stay true to yourself when you are still trying to figure out who You are?
Peer pressure isn’t always a bad thing; sometimes it pushes us to try harder in class when we see our peers trying their best and getting good grades but sometimes it can lead to places that aren’t good for us such as partaking in things that could cause us and others harm. We need to be mindful in understanding where that pressure is coming from and remembering that we have the power to make choices regardless of what our peers may want for us and to try to make the best ones you can with the tools you have
There's a few things that might help you navigate those difficult situations:
Surround yourself with people who share/respect your values. This helps reduce peer pressure by reminding you that there’s a group that you don’t have to exchange your values to befriend. They can also help buffer the pressure when you enter a pressure filled situation
Allow yourself to avoid pushy people or uncomfortable pressure filled situations. It’s okay to not go to that party or leave a hang out once you notice people smoking.
You can give an excuse. My go to as a kid was to blame my parents for why I couldn’t do something. “I’m not allowed to go out that late they’re really strict” or “They will smell the smoke/alcohol on me.” This got me out of many uncomfortable situations but you can also say you have asthma if you don’t want to smoke or that you’re on medication if you feel pressure to drink. There’s endless reasons so you can be creative and make something up if it comes down to it.
Use humor to deflect pressure or express disagreement: joking can be a good way of expressing negative emotions without creating a conflict.
Learn how to discern between who you can trust and count on and who you can’t. Sometimes we befriend people that aren’t very good friends at all. Whether u stop being friends with them or not is your choice but it’s very important to know if you are safe with them or not so you can prepare to care for yourself in other ways by shielding yourself mentally or even carrying around Narcan if you’re going to be around illicit substances. Make sure to check in with how you are feeling in your body and what your emotions are trying to tell you.
Most importantly, practice saying no. It can be scary standing up for yourself so try practicing saying no to people before the situation where you really need to say no happens. Say no to small things, practice with your loved ones, and strengthen that skill. Remember: No is a complete sentence! So just “No.” Can and should suffice but if you don’t want to be as stern “No thanks” or “Not today” are good options too.
As you grow and gain new experiences this will get easier and boundaries will become easier to maintain but for now remember it’s never okay for people to make you feel bad for saying no. You aren’t just a child you are an autonomous person who can make choices so make the best ones you can and remember that help is available if you find yourself feeling out of control. There are many resources such as guidance counselors, teachers, parents, mentors, and even therapists that can guide you through difficult situations so ask for support if you find yourself stuck.
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