Five Tips on Handling Criticism with Confidence and Grace

Written by: Angela Echevarria

Published: December 4, 2024

Learning how to receive constructive criticism without taking it personally is an important skill when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Not only is it necessary in order to get along with loved ones, but this skill helps a lot when being in any group environments, especially those where you have an authority figure, such as work or school. Receiving feedback with grace shows your loved ones,  teachers and supervisors that you are a team player, you work hard to better yourself, and that you respect their insight and experience in their field. But it isn’t always easy to put your ego aside and listen to people you respect list the many things you did wrong. You might feel angry, hurt, insecure, or insulted, which are all valid emotions to experience, but it’s not appropriate to lash out at the people trying to help us succeed. 

There are many ways to control your responses when receiving feedback but here are my personal favorites: 

1. Freeze! If you realize that your emotions are starting to head towards the defensive, take a deep breath in through your nose and out your mouth. Stopping an impulsive response in the face of a criticism is much more acceptable than having to apologize for blowing up at someone who was likely only trying to help you. 

2. Remember the value of constructive criticism. Without being told where your mistakes are, you will have a much harder time growing. Be it a personal or professional relationship, this person is trying to help you be your best!

3. Don’t shift the blame! One of the most instinctual things we do when we realize that we did something wrong is point the finger at someone else, but this will only cause more harm to you and your reputation among friends/coworkers. Instead try taking accountability for your mistake and make a plan to keep from repeating that mistake. This will be respected much more since it is a more mature way to respond. 

4. Ask questions respectfully. It’s okay to politely ask for clarification if you are confused by their critique but remember to keep control of your frustration if it leads somewhere that you don’t like. Burning bridges for momentary satisfaction isn’t worth the trouble it causes. You can ask for specific examples such as “I was in a bit of a hurry but could you explain where I was rude in that conversation?” If they provide those examples, don’t try to prove them wrong as that will likely lead to a debate. You can acknowledge the action in a more agreeable way like “Yes I did stumble into him on my way out, and I apologized the next time I saw him.” You can also ask for any suggestions they might have in implementing those critiques! This would really show them that you are making those necessary steps  to grow and that you respect what they have to say. 

5. Listen and think critically. No one person is perfect at everything, not even the people providing you with feedback. That’s why it’s important to really think about what they said and whether or not it’s something you need to implement in order to be better at what you do. Sometimes the critiques you are given are actually opinions, which isn’t very helpful. Sometimes critiques can also be shaped by bias or false information.

Criticism might feel uncomfortable, especially at first,  but we are all on a journey of self improvement making imperfection and critiques vital to growth. If we stayed comfortable in our flaws then we would never change for the better.